Rebel Rebel, That Food Is For Guests

After the unflushable turd that was Bogan Pride Rebel Wilson might never be Australia’s sweetheart again, but over in the US her star turn (okay, three scenes) in Bridesmaids is opening doors left, right and center:

Rebel Wilson is seeing her career go into overdrive since appearing in Bridesmaids.

The actress, who played Kristen Wiig’s roommate in the hit comedy, just got the plum role to replace Casey Wilson in the all-star indie comedy Bachelorette, being produced by Will Ferrell and Adam McKay’s Gary Sanchez Prods. shingle.

According to The Hollywood Reporter, that’s not the only feature role she’s snagged:

At the same time, Rebel Wilson is the first person to be cast in Pitch Perfect, the Gold Circle romantic comedy set in the world of collegiate a cappella groups.

Nice work if you can get it. Or is it? The real comedy comes from reading on to see exactly what kind of roles the glorious new post-Bridesmaids age of gal-friendly comedies is giving to Australia’s greatest female comedy export. In Bachelorette:

Isla Fisher, Kirsten Dunst, Lizzy Caplan and Adam Scott are cast in the movie, which follows three best friends (Fisher, Caplan and Dunst) who are invited to act as bridesmaids at the wedding of a girl they called Pigface in high school.

Pigface. Ooh, sounds classy. But wait, there’s more: In Pitch Perfect–

She’ll play a character called Fat Amy who is a member of the female a cappella group Divisi and goes head to head against a counterpart from the male group known as the Treblemakers.

Pigface and Fat Amy. Typecast much?

Fingers crossed these roles turn out to be big hits for our Rebel, so she has a long and productive career in Hollywood, making, oh, we don’t know… maybe a wacky stoner comedy called FAT BLUNT? A movie where she plays a wealthy bank executive trying to buy her way to love titled PIGGY BANK? A poor girl from the wrong side of the tracks turns to beatboxing to make her way out of the gutter in PHAT BEATS? Or perhaps a good old-fashioned disaster movie called FLABBERLANCHE?

(snark aside, does anyone seriously think that if she’d gone to Hollywood two years earlier – or for that matter, two years from now – Wilson would have any kind of career there? She’s been amazingly lucky to bring her “hey, I’m a fat slut” act to Hollywood just when Hollywood has decided it’s ok to put non-model-standard women in comedies.

That’s not to say she shouldn’t take full advantage of the offers that come her way, mostly because we figure the more exposure she gets, the quicker the limits of her abilities – and the massive extent to which she overstates them – will become clear. For fuck’s sake, she’s telling Americans that Bogan Pride was like Glee only “ahead of its time”; eventually someone’s going to notice this clown car only has one gear.)