Hey Look, it’s Possibly the Worst Idea in Recent Memory

Press release time!

Julia Zemiro to host ABC’s new true-crime panel show Crime Night!

The ABC is thrilled to announce that Julia Zemiro will host Crime Night! a comedy true-crime panel show where real-life cases are examined through the lens of criminology and comedy.

Produced by Dreamchaser and Maverick Entertainment, the six-part series will see Julia, alongside a panel of criminologists and comedians dissect famous cases. They will discover the science behind the crimes and use that same science to examine our own lives with hilarious consequences.

Host Julia Zemiro says: “Excellent criminologists and brainy comedians? Check! One very engaged host? (That’s me!) Yes Check!

“I am so excited to be back at the ABC steering a panel show about modern day criminology. This new team of writers and producers are a breath of fresh air to work with, as we delve into the science behind the crimes. The how, the what and the why. The curious, the serious and ultimately very human side of crime.”

Rachel Millar, ABC Head of Entertainment, said: “Australians can’t get enough of True Crime, and we’re excited to join forces with Dreamchaser and Maverick to bring this innovative and original format to ABC screens. For anyone who loves bingeing the latest true crime podcast, or playing detective in the group chat, this is the show for you. Led by the inimitable Julia Zemiro, this is a show that will make your spine tingle with intrigue, whilst making you laugh at the same time.”

Carl Fennessy and Monique Keller, Dreamchaser Executive Producers, said: “Crime Night! is the first commission under our Maverick Entertainment and Dreamchaser producing partnership. We’re thrilled to be launching this brand-new comedy true-crime panel show in partnership with the ABC. The combined talents of Executive Producers David Forster, Frank Bruzzese and Julia Zemiro are exceptional, working alongside a brilliant panel of criminologists and comedians to examine the fascinating real-life cases we’re all obsessed with in the funniest possible way.”

Where to start with this nightmare? Oh sorry, we mean “comedy true-crime panel show”? If you ever for even the briefest second doubted that all ABC panel shows – yes, even that one you like – are seen by the ABC as “pandering shit for our dimwit audience”, our condolences on your loss of innocence.

Also getting our condolences: anyone affected by a crime made fun of on this show. The only possible way this utterly confused format – comedians and true crime? What, they couldn’t get Daryl Somers to host a show on race relations? – can work is if the true crime cases being discussed are so cold Ned Kelly is one of the suspects. At which point, what’s the point?

Okay, it’s just a press release. We’re probably jumping the gun here. We all know the vaguely gossipy vibe they’re going to want to go for. We also know that at the ABC “comedian” pretty much means anyone wandering the corridors who doesn’t work for 4 Corners. It’s perfectly possible that this will not, in fact, be the worst idea for a television show in recent memory – just a lot of blather about forensics with some shit observations from radio hosts mixed in.

On the other hand, it’s aimed at people “playing detective in the group chat”, and those people are the worst. And there’s an exclamation mark in the title! Have we learned nothing from the failure of Cram!?