Australian Tumbleweeds

Australia's most opinionated blog about comedy.

Call to John

The final skit of the first episode of ABC2’s John Conway Tonight has host John slapping on a mortarboard and giving a dodgy speech about having to leave university for reasons (“you all know what I did”) to the general befuddlement of his audience. It seems like the kind of random, ill-judged sketch you’d expect from a community television-standard talk show – the kind of thing a bunch of mates would think sounded hilarious, only to find while actually doing it that… nah.

But there’s a twist: after leaving, Conway returns to berate the audience – it seems the whole idea was that they would give him a Dead Poets Society “Oh Captain, My Captain” style tearful send off, and as they didn’t live up to their side of the deal he’s going to do it again and this time they’d better get it right. It’s a smart twist to a seemingly dud sketch, and if you were actually in the audience it’s a twist that definitely would have improved your experience.

Sitting at home though, it didn’t work quite so well. And that was the experience of a lot of John Conway Tonight, a show that managed to be slightly better than your average C31 talk show without actually being good enough to work on a “real” television network as it-

– and before we go any further here, let’s get one thing straight: we know the joke is that the show is shit. Well, not “shit” but a shoddy mess full of awkward and ill-prepared segments put on by people unafraid of lengthy pauses and fluffed lines. The joke is that the show is a mess and if we wrote a review saying “this show is bad because it’s a mess” then ha ha the joke is on us.

Okay, now if you’re a child then this has just made your show review-proof. “It’s MEANT to be bad, geddit!”. But as people who can legally buy excessive amounts of alcohol we can tell that there’s a big difference between a show that’s making fun of shit shows and a show that’s just plain shit. John Conway Tonight at least occasionally tries to be the former; occasionally it drifts a little too close to the latter.

Then again, maybe we’re reading too much into all this. A lot of the jokes here really did seem like the kind of thing a bunch of mates might think would be funny just to see on television. The Milkman coming up from behind the couch holding up different sized bottles of milk? Cat News? A fairly average phone impression of Michael Caine done multiple times? (Owen Wilson was better, because who does Owen Wilson?) This is all stuff that’s funny when it’s happening right before your eyes in a pub backroom after you’ve had a few; watching it on a Sunday night sober? Let’s not.

Part of the problem is that as a host John Conway is just… John Conway. As comedy characters go he’s a slightly shabby guy hosting a ramshackle talk show… only that’s also exactly what he’s doing for real, and as the host of a sloppy tonight show there’s not enough of a character there to make it work as a send-up of shit shows. Remember Dame Edna? Alan Partridge? Norman Gunston? John Conway will remind you of none of them.

That’s not automatically a fatal mistake – having him seem like a regular guy who’s flailing just a little definitely grounds the show in a way that could work with different material – but when he’s doing bits about raising money to send someone to Milan only they spent the money on guinea pigs then it’d be handy for him to have a comedy character (flailing loser? Angry tightwad? Sadsack dreamer?) that could give an exaggerated response to the craziness.

But every time we were about to give up and walk away – well, change the channel, why would we walk away from our own television set – something just funny enough would happen to draw us back. Conway himself seems like the kind of host it’ll be easy to warm to after a few episodes; the various cheesy Tonight Show elements (crap announcer, sleazy manager moving up from the dead-end world of the fish & chip industry while shouting out bad hashtags) weren’t overdone; the times when they were clearly doing jokes they thought were good (the puns in Cat News) were kind of endearing even when the jokes themselves sank without trace.

The real find, of course, is Aaron Chen as Conway’s sidekick. Often comedy characters based on awkward earnestness are a pain in the arse, but Chen made it work by actually saying funny lines every time he chimed in. His story about apple crumble was halfway decent, and his street talk segment was the first time we’ve found a street talk segment funny in years, with a lot of whip-smart interactions (“what’s your favourite answer?” “What?” “That’s a question”) and a set-up that didn’t revolve around making strangers look stupid.

If Australia has to have tonight shows – and as a grown up country it really should – this is probably the best we can currently hope for: a cheap, shoddy production made by people who really want to get laughs. It’s hardly appointment viewing (if people watched television on Saturday nights then a Saturday night timeslot would be better – people getting pre-loaded before heading out seem like its natural audience) but as community television sinks slowly into the swamp that is streaming content it’s good to see that the tradition of shabby pissfarting lives on – for another twelve weeks at least.

 

 

Once were comedy Warriors

If there’s one thing we admire about the new ABC series The Warriors it’s the makers’ honesty. While various shows market themselves as comedies or comedy-dramas, when they’ve barely two gags in them to rub together, once it started shooting and realised it wasn’t funny, The Warriors quickly re-branded itself as a drama.

ABC Media Release Tuesday, October 11, 2016:

ABC TV, Screen Australia and Film Victoria announced today that filming has commenced in Melbourne on The Warriors, a provocative new 8 x 30’ Indigenous comedy drama series.

Created by Tony Briggs (The Sapphires) and Robert Connolly (Paper Planes, Barracuda), The Warriors is set in the world of Australian Rules Football. It explores the elite world of professional sport through the eyes of two new recruits – plucked from obscurity to fame and fortune – and two established players as they are thrown together in a share house in Melbourne.

With temptation at every turn and a lot of football, there’s no guarantee these young men will run through the banner for the first game of the season.

ABC Media Release – Wednesday, November 2, 2016:

New dramas for 2017 include Newton’s Law, The Warriors and Seven Types of Ambiguity, as well as new seasons of the strikingly original Cleverman and Glitch, and the much loved home grown favourites Janet King and The Doctor Blake Mysteries.

The first episode of The Warriors aired last night, and it’s sort of possible to see how they maybe could have kinda thought they were a comedy drama. This isn’t a show featuring complex characters who, for example, engage in psychological warfare with each. There are also no murders, rapes, or even terribly much intrigue.

The characters, such as they are, are exactly what you’d expect to find in a sitcom set at a footy club: the shouty club President, the harassed-but-hardened PR lady, the reckless, fun-loving players, including the one who takes drugs and roots around. And, key to this program, the innocent new recruit, fresh out of an Aboriginal community in Queensland, who’s experiencing life in the big city for the first time. These are characters that with a funny script could be funny. Except the script’s not funny.

So, instead, we have eight episodes of light drama, where the one who takes drugs and roots around will probably get into trouble for taking drugs and rooting around, which will give the harassed-but-hardened PR lady some work to do. And the innocent new recruit will probably learn a few life lessons but mainly just be quite a sweet character.

It’s something for the footy fans, we guess. That scene where they all got lost in the sports museum and started reflecting on how much they loved the game of footy? Aawww.

As for those of us who like comedy, it’s hard not feel diddled out of a new comedy show. Especially in a week where the news in the world of Australian comedy couldn’t have been bleaker.

The Boys Are Back, The Boys Are Back In Town

And thank fuck for that, because he’s pretty much the only thing that separates The Weekly from an especially shithouse extended episode of Media Watch. And that’s on a good day: week in week out we struggle to detect any concrete difference between what Charlie Pickering does on this show and what the random chumps do on Gogglebox.

In theory the other cast members are trying, though at this stage Hard Chat is just trying to get us to buy a replacement television for the one we stomped to death during this astoundingly arse segment. Having Dave Hughes on? He’s a comedian – doesn’t that defeat the point of the segment? Oh wait, the segment defeats its own point, because the point of television is to entertain.

The Briggs mystery seems to have been solved too, because after tonight’s appearance – which makes what, three for the year? – it seems clear that they’re only going to wheel him out for a segment that directly relates to his own personal experience. So while Flanagan and Gleeson get to burble on about anything under the sun so long as they think it’s funny, the other “regular cast member” only gets on air when the show wants his perspective on something. So what were they thinking when they made him a series regular? They were going to run stories about being Aboriginal every single week? Oh ho ho ho not on a show aimed at “regular” Australians they’re not.

Ah, who cares. Wack on the news, make a bunch of shallow snide comments about it and then crack open a tinnie because that’s another week’s worth of work as Australia’s premiere political satirist done. That’s right guys, the torch has been passed:

We never thought we’d approve of a One Nation policy on anything, but stripping $600 Million out of the ABC budget seems a pretty fucking good idea to us right about now.

John Clarke, thanks for your time

We honestly thought Clarke & Dawe would never end. Two men, a couple of chairs, a great script – the perfect satirical format.

Things were looking a bit shaky for John Clarke and Bryan Dawe towards the end of the Howard years, when Gerard Henderson was banging on about left-wing bias in comedy and shows were being axed or tinkered with to appease the government. Then the ABC axed Clarke & Dawe from 7.30 and shunted them off to…wherever it was. We, along with thousands of others subscribed to them on YouTube and watched them there instead. We only watched their last sketch on YouTube a few days ago. This can’t be real.

7.30 aired a pretty good obituary of John Clarke last night. Watching it, we realised how many generations he entertained. For some, he will always be gumboot-wearing sheep farmer Fred Dagg. For others, his best work was as the straight-faced sports journalist discussing the fictional sport of Farnarkling on The Gillies Report. Then there was The Games with its put-upon sports bureaucrats and 94-metre running tracks. Or maybe you just enjoyed all 30 years of Clarke & Dawe. How could you not?

Bryan Dawe, Clarke’s long-time collaborator, was too distraught to speak to 7.30, but he did say this to the Sydney Morning Herald.

It wasn’t Clarke and Dawe that was the most important thing for me… It was the in-between. It was the space between our work as Clarke and Dawe: the conversations, the phone calls, the emails, the fun, the empathy, the understanding. The friendship. And all that means.

John is such a big canvas it is impossible to explain how I feel… I got to experience this man’s humanity, his generosity, his brilliance and above all, his kindness.

He was such an insightful, generous, gorgeous human being, and I’m so fortunate and honoured to have been his friend and co-conspirator for so long.

There have been many articles written about John Clarke in the last 24 hours, and the key theme of most, apart from his comic genius, was Clarke’s humanity. He loved and delighted in other people. And while his job was to give it to politicians with both barrels, he also recognised them as fully-rounded human beings in difficult situations.

A lesser satirist views politicians and public figures through their soundbites and gaffs, exploiting these along with their accent, hairstyle, mode of dress and physicality. Clarke’s genius in Clarke & Dawe was to ignore and remove all this. Whether he was Julia Gillard, John Howard, Malcolm Turnbull or some anonymous spokesman, he always dressed and spoke the same. What interested him was what politicians and public figures did and said, and how that affected the rest of us.

Every week, whoever Clarke was being, whatever he was being interviewed about, he was always, simultaneously, instantly recognisable as his character, offering us a completely new and original take on the situation, and being really funny. And no one could deliver a line like John Clarke. No one. As Tony Martin said…

We’ll no doubt have more to say about John Clarke in the coming months. For the moment, we wish to express our sympathy to his family, friends, and colleagues, and to hope that the ABC will produce a tribute to John Clarke for us fans. Perhaps a documentary or further DVD releases? A definitive summation of John Clarke’s life and career. If that’s even possible.

Australia’s Funniest New Zealander Dead at 68

The ABC has confirmed that John Clarke – yes, the funny one – passed away over the weekend of natural causes while hiking in the Victorian Grampians. He was 68.

It’s hard to underestimate the size of this loss. As a mentor and friend he was an invaluable part of Australia’s comedy scene, and his weekly work with Bryan Dawe was a fixture on our televisions for thirty years. He was also extremely funny, which can’t be said often enough.

No doubt we’ll be saying it again soon and at length once we’ve gotten our heads around this tragic news.

*edit* The ABC have released an official statement. The magnitude of our loss is only made clearer by the comedians who contributed.

Monday, April 10, 2017 — The ABC is saddened at the loss of John Clarke, whose work as a satirist and performer made him a greatly admired and loved figure on the national stage.

The writer and performer for three decades alongside his on-air partner Bryan Dawe offered insightful and cutting satirical commentary on issues of national importance. From the 1970s when he introduced Australian audiences to his character Fred Dagg from his native New Zealand, to his work on The Gillies Report and The Games, John Clarke was a central figure in Australian comedy and satire.

ABC Managing Director Michelle Guthrie said the unexpected loss of John Clarke would be felt by everyone at the ABC and by audiences across the country who had come to love his biting sense of humour.

“Australian audiences have relied on John Clarke for always getting to the heart of how many Australians felt about the politics of the day and tearing down the hypocrisy and at times absurdity of elements of our national debate.

“We have lost a giant presence on our screens. Our hearts go to John’s family, his wife Helen and two daughters, Lorin and Lucia.”

Statement from the family of John Clarke

The much loved and respected satirist and writer, John Morrison Clarke (b 1948) has died suddenly of natural causes on Sunday 9 April. Beloved husband of Helen, father of Lorin and Lucia, grandfather of Claudia and Charles and father-in-law of Stewart Thorn.

John died doing one of the things he loved the most in the world, taking photos of birds in beautiful bushland with his wife and friends. He is forever in our hearts.

We are aware of what he has meant to so many for so many years, throughout the world but especially in Australia and New Zealand. We are very grateful for all expressions of sympathy and love which John would have greatly appreciated.

John’s family has asked that their privacy be respected at this sad time.

Statement from ABC Head of Comedy Rick Kalowski

“The passing of John Clarke – our greatest ever political satirist – is a tragic loss to his millions of fans and the entire Australian comedy community, many of whom (myself included) were inspired by his brilliance to want to work in comedy. John was shooting for ABC TV on The Ex-PM Season 2 until only this past Friday, and it’s almost impossible to believe he is suddenly gone. The chance to get to know and spend time with John was an honour, and ABC TV Comedy joins so many others in offering John’s family our sincerest sympathies.”

Statement from Charlie Pickering

“One Christmas I was given four copies of John Clarke’s book ‘The Tournament’ by four different people. It’s safe to say they knew me pretty well. John was a familiar part of my life and sense of humour since I was old enough to know what I liked.

It goes without saying that he had a huge influence on me and our show. How can he not? If you are going to have the nerve to make jokes about the news in Australia, you do so knowing that you will never clear the bar set by John Clarke. And his work with Bryan Dawe over decades has been as good as anything put to air anywhere in the world.

Last year Tom Gleeson and I recorded a tribute to Clarke & Dawe simply as a thank you for being our favourite thing on TV. I rang him to ask permission. The conversation got away from itself and we ended up talking about how writing a good comedy script was somewhere between poetry and physics. Whatever that middle ground is, John Clarke deserved the Nobel Prize.

My thoughts are with his family, Bryan and the Australian viewing public for their loss.”

The Abyss Gazes Also

Aww, wasn’t that opening bit of this week’s Weekly nice? The gang was all there – even Briggs, which was actually kind of puzzling because it’s hardly like he’s a series regular or anything so for all we know they pre-recorded this back when he actually was a series regular – looking up at the stars, saying lines like they were on a show that had built up their comedic personas over the years so that cracks about how pale Tom is or how alone Kitty is would get laughs rather than blank stares.

But hey, for once it didn’t feel like everyone else physically loathed Charlie Pickering, and isn’t that the best result for Australia? Imagine that: a segment on The Weekly where the host doesn’t come across as the kind of guy who goes around sticking his mobile phone in your face trying to show you clips from Bumfights? The sun really will come out tomorrow.

To be fair to Pickering and his difficult public persona, he does have to say things like “Tom hard chat’s Sophie Monk!”, which really should have been followed by him solemnly letting us know that if we’ve been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts there was a helpline we could call. And what else is there to this show, really? A bit on how Big Business has ruined April Fools Day? A bit on how Mark Latham was fired from Sky News that was really just about the way The Weekly had a long running segment about Mark Latham on Sky News? Yet another fucking bit on fucking politicians and their fucking love hate relationship with fucking opinion polls what the actual fuck?

And blah blah blah whatever: this show’s at least 50% interview these days so even two paragraphs is really stretching our conversational limit. Shit, there wasn’t even any Kitty Flanagan this week, and she’s the funny one. Which, as we say every week, makes this show even harder to watch: clearly if they had people on board who wanted to be funny then funny this show would be – even just occasionally, around the edges – but instead… nope.

Let’s go back to that opening again. The idea of getting a few character-based laughs out of a riff on the ABC’s stargazing night is the idea that could only have come from a team of writers who have no idea about the kind of show they’ve actually been putting out over the last few years. As a generic comedy idea, sure: doing a little “behind-the-scenes” bit is a comedy staple. But there’s only two ways it can work – either you do it for the very first time with a bunch of gags that play against the way the show’s hosts come across on the regular show (“holy shit, once the cameras are turned off Pickering’s a foul-mouthed yobbo in a Jack Daniels singlet!”), or you’ve built up various behind-the-scenes comedy personas for the characters that work like an occasionally-glimpsed sitcom – Pickering has money troubles, Flanagan has a crush on Gleeson, Gleeson is a pompous windbag, whatever. You’ve seen Cheers, you know how sitcoms work.

What doesn’t work is dumping your four regulars into a bit where they make jokes based on comedy personalities they just don’t have. Well, Flanagan has a bit of one thanks to her knowing how comedy works and dropping in jokes about her boozing, etc in her segment, but even then they’re clearly “jokes” rather than supposed personality traits that the jokes are coming from (it’s the difference between saying “I’m a drunk!” and doing a comedy bit where you’re actually meant to be drunk). But everyone else? Nothing. Briggs talking about how he keeps a telescope in his car in case he’s car-jacked so he can belt the car-jackers with it? What’s funny about that beyond “ha ha, he hit a guy with a telescope”?

So what we have is a crack team of comedy professionals putting together a prime time show but who, based on just about the only bit of scripted interaction in the episode, don’t seem to understand how humour works. This isn’t us being all esoteric and wanky: if you’re going to make jokes about your news hosts being off-duty, either the laughs are going to come from the difference between their work and play personalities or from them being funny characters when they’re not working. What else is there? Wordplay? Pranks? Decent stand-alone jokes? Laughing at the fact this show is running for twenty fucking weeks and they don’t yet seem to have figured out how to be funny?

The hosts of The Weekly aren’t lovable comedy characters we’ve warmed to over the years. In one case and possibly two, we’re fairly sure a golden retriever in a suit would be better at every aspect of their job. You want them to seem funny? Have them say funny things.

You know, like “this is the final ever episode of The Weekly“.

 

Night-time is the Right-Time for Tonight-time

Press release time!

JOHN CONWAY TONIGHT

PREMIRES SUNDAY APRIL 16 @ 9PM ON ABC2

Busting out of the comedy scene already wearing a suit and tie, John Conway is ready to be the tonight show host Australian TV never knew it needed.

John Conway has talked his way onto ABC2 and John Conway Tonight is going on the telly – late night talk shows are back in Australia, baby!

At 9pm every Sunday from 16th April for twelve weeks, ABC2 will air the smallest tonight show in the world, from the smallest nightclub in the world. John will dance, entertain, interview smashing guests and endeavour to keep the chaos in order, all while the literal and metaphorical walls of his own show collapse around him.

He’ll be joined by his sidekick Aaron Chen, his manager Robbie Tarocash and the best handpicked Australian comedic talent, including: Will Erimya, Jenna Owen, Ben Russell, Victoria Zerbst, Penny Greenhalgh, Sam Campbell, Clinton Haines, Tom Walker and Edan Lacey.

“I’ve scoured the Australian comedy scene and have brought together some of the cleverest idiots it has to offer. We’re on to something here – can somebody please help me find out what,” said Conway.

Coming at you from a cosy small bar where pizzas are served mid-show and there’s every chance of interruption, it’s a tonight show on the edge of reason. A riot of characters and controlled chaos, and an absurd and hilarious tribute to late night TV.

It’s John Conway Tonight!

You’ve been warned. Personally, misspelling “premiere” is a bit of a red light, but it’s not like anyone ever called Rove literate and look how well that turned out.

Ripper, Donna!

Sketch group Aunty Donna have been releasing episodes of their new web series Ripper Aussie Summer every Friday for the past seven weeks, and it’s quite good. The trio play various characters, gathered together in a backyard for a barbecue, except, this being Aunty Donna, this backyard is very much its own universe.

One of the things we’ve always liked about Aunty Donna is that they’re good at both capturing typical Aussie characters and at making sketches which are just plain silly. In the first Ripper Aussie Summer sketch, What Did You Do Last Night?, Zach’s description of (well, song about) his night of drinking is so ridiculous you can’t believe he’s still here. Then Lee de Paauw came along and we realised this is basically a documentary (in song form).

Then there’s Waving, a surreal and bizarre sketch about taking friendliness too far. If you don’t mind that the payoff is one that could only happen in the universe of Aunty Donna’s ripper backyard, it’s a good one.

Then there’s Afternoon Sillies, a gleeful piece of ridiculousness that will delight anyone who remembers the childlike comedy stylings of people like The Goodies.

It’s also worth dipping into the Aunty Donna back catalogue and checking out one of their other web series, 1999. Ever wondered what would have happened if the office you worked in had gone a bit Lord of the Flies one day?

We also enjoyed the musical theatre vibe of Being Bigoted in the Workplace…

…and the escalation that happens in this sketch when the trio indulge in some marching powder.

Like we’ve said before, this is good stuff, and it’s a massive shame that Aunty Donna have never been given their own TV series. But on the other hand, when the trio can make and release high-quality comedy online, find a big audience and not have executives tell them what to do, well, everyone’s a winner!

Ugh God What’s the Point

The Weekly: what the fuck? Sure, Cyclone Debbie isn’t funny, and you know what comedy shows do with subjects that aren’t funny? They either find a way to be funny about it, or they shut their mouths and move on. You know what they don’t do? They don’t open with a “hope everyone’s keeping safe” message like they’re the goshdarn Royal Family expressing their concern. You’re a comedy show: be funny or… oh yeah, right. Guess showing your concern is about as good as it gets.

Otherwise yeah, we’re probably going to give these weekly updates away – after all, if Briggs isn’t going to turn up for his own show then why should we? It’s not like we’re actually enjoying the “hilarious” riffs on company tax and Donald Trump. Hey, here’s a fun fact: you know America? You know how it has ten times as many people as Australia? That means it has at least ten times as many professional comedians out there working hard to make fun of their President and thanks to the wonders of The Internet we have access to pretty much everything they say. So your Trump jokes? They look shit. Because that’s what they are.

Also, what’s the deal with THREE interviews? Yes, two were with funny people, but next to Charlie Pickering anyone looks good and if we can only get him into a room with our collection of used toothbrushes we reckon we can get producers on board to make them the stars of the next knock-off of Friends. As for Hard Chat, it’s more like Damp Squib now that everyone who comes on board knows the deal. This segment has run its course. FACT.

We wouldn’t mind so much that The Weekly is turning into an interview program because heaven knows the scripted material each week isn’t that great. But isn’t there an interview program on before it? Since when has the ABC become “Fuck it, let’s just get as many people as we can onto every show to talk for free, it’s not like we can afford to pay anyone to make decent television anymore oh wait we just answered our own question forget we said anything.”

Even Kitty Flanagan only makes thing worse by being actually funny. Look everyone! Funny people exist! If you point a camera at them, they’ll say and do funny things! But why do that when you can put Tom Gleeson on instead and have Charlie Pickering literally read the news for most of the show. And it’s never going to change because why would it? No-one cares. There’s still eleven weeks to go.

We do like to think Sky News let Mark Latham go just to fuck with The Weekly though. That at least we can laugh at.

 

Blood for the Blood God

Press release time!

Twenty sketch comedy teams have been selected as the 2017 recipients of Fresh Blood, the highly successful joint initiative between ABC and Screen Australia designed to unearth a new generation of comedic talent.

Each team will receive $15,000 to create 3 x 3-5min sketches that will be released on iview in the second half of 2017. In addition, all teams will benefit from a two-day workshop in June led by industry representatives where they will explore how to work towards a sustainable career.

Mike Cowap, Investment Manager at Screen Australia said: “Fresh Blood is such an incredible opportunity for emerging comedy filmmakers.  What quickly became apparent with this exciting new cohort – many of whom were from diverse backgrounds – was that so many of the talent had already built significant audiences on social media, with impressively risky, witty and weird comedy. We’re thrilled to give these unique voices invaluable access to a major Australian broadcaster, and the opportunity to share their humour on a premier platform.”

In total 364 applications were received by ABC and Screen Australia following the callout in December 2016. From the 20 teams selected: 20% of projects are animated, 60% had key team members who identified as being from diverse backgrounds; 60% of projects funded were from creative teams (writer, producer, director and protagonist) that were at least 50% female.

Lou Porter, Acting Head of Entertainment at ABC said: “The first series of Fresh Blood unearthed some truly great talent both in front and behind the camera.  We’re so excited to be running this initiative again in partnerships with Screen Australia.  It’s a great platform to unearth new talent who are producing funny and compelling new content for our viewers.”

Among the projects funded are:

  • LEFTOVERS from the sketch comedy trio of Pippa Mills, Helena Ruse and Andrew Mills, who have established their brand of comedy through YouTube and Facebook, amassing over 1 million views for their viral videos. A sharply observed social commentary about modern insecurities, Helena and Pippa playfully parody the lives and trending obsessions of young Australian adults.

 

Co-Writer/Director Andrew Mills said: “This funding will allow us to expand on the world and characters we’ve created in our online videos. We hope the financial assistance from Fresh Blood will allow us greater freedom in our storytelling and production values, something we’ve long been aiming to achieve.”

  • THE ANGUS PROJECT from writer/director/producer Nina Oyama and starring Angus Thompson, about a hedonistic university student who happens to have cerebral palsy. Angus employs his fellow students to help him with grocery shopping, studying and – most importantly – to party like a legend. A challenging but warm take on life with a significant disability.

 

Nina Oyama said: “I was introduced to Angus at university and I started working as his carer shortly after we met. We bonded mostly over our love of TV, and over the years we kind of realised we’d never really seen a realistic portrayal of someone who has cerebral palsy in the mainstream media, and so together we started writing short comedic scripts about his life. We’re grateful for Fresh Blood funding because it means we’re finally able to broadcast his story on a bigger platform whilst also making a greater statement about diversity and ableism, hopefully while making people laugh too.”

  • LET’S BREAK EM UP, a game show spoof from stand-up comedian Nath Valvo and Tandem Media. Valvo takes to the streets of Melbourne to find unsuspecting couples and put them to the ‘love test’ – if they win the game there is absolutely no reward, and if they lose they have to break up on camera. Valvo mines the quiz genre with his trademark humour, peppered with everyday observations and a dash of social commentary.

 

Nath Valvo said: “I’m very grateful that Fresh Blood have the balls to back my gameshow idea! It’s exciting and also very scary that it’s someone else’s money. More than anything Fresh Blood is going to force me to finally learn Excel. I’d be lying if I said money wasn’t the key factor in getting stuff made – having ideas you love is one thing but finding the cash to film pilots and get a crew together to make it look nice is really tough. The bar is so high now for online content – there’s some YouTube stuff that’s already broadcast quality so to be given help to get this idea in front of people is really great. There’s some top notch sitcom and skit comedy around at the moment so I wanted to pitch something different. I’ve been playing a live version of the game for a couple of years now and have always thought it would be a ridiculous TV show … so … I entered!”

  • Absurdist comedy 1800 SUCCESS about young schemers, Aaron and Jon, who will do just about anything to scrounge up some cash – except get a job, because they’re sassy millennials who think jobs are oppressive. Aaron Chen and Jonathan Lo will write and star, with Henry Stone directing.

 

Henry Stone said: “Aaron and Jon are undeniably funny and they are using this as an opportunity to get a real-world education in how to speak the language of the baby boomer commissioning bureaucrat. For this I have made them defer their university degrees.”

Jon and Aaron add: “Henry our director is a total psycho and keeps making us recite what he calls his ‘industry truths’. We think iview is cool and Screen Australia is futuristic. We like doing our private comedy for new friends.”

Following the iview broadcast, ABC and Screen Australia will select four teams to progress to the second phase of Fresh Blood in 2018 who will receive $75,000 to produce a full pilot episode. Previous Fresh Blood recipients include Aunty Donna, Fancy Boy and Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am by Skit Box.

SUCCESSFUL PROJECTS (in alphabetical order)

1800 SUCCESS
Genre Rowdy
Producers Aaron Chen, Henry Stone
Director Henry Stone
Writers Aaron Chen, Jonathan Lo
Synopsis 1800 Success follows two young schemers on the hunt for cash. Aaron and Jonathan need money. They always need money. This is because they’re poor little students who just want to buy textbooks and movie tickets and MDMA but they don’t want jobs because they’re also cheeky little millennials and jobs are oppressive. Each episode of 1800 Success finds them trying to lean on a subculture that they are affiliated with in order to make that crispy cashola and keep living their tasty uni student lives.

BIN CHICKENS
Genre Animation
Producers Nikos Andronicos, Dave Carter
Director Dave Carter
Writer Nikos Andronicos
Synopsis The animated adventures of three ibises who eat garbage and live life to the max in the jewel in Sydney’s crown, Darling Harbour.

COLLECTIVE NOUN
Genre Comedy
Directors Zach Mander, Michael Parente
Writers Zach Mander, Dom Fay
Synopsis Collective Noun is rebooting the ABC to be more relevant to millennials. This series of sketches will see the ABC line up adjusted to be more Gen Y focused. The ABC will have more smashed avo, more ride sharing services, and be more self-interested – just how millennials like it.

FREUDIAN NIP
Genre Sketch comedy
Producer Bronte Rose Jovevski
Director Jenna Owen, Victoria Zerbst, Bronte Rose Jovevski
Writers Victoria Zerbst, Jenna Owen, Jess Bush, Geraldine Viswanathan
Synopsis Freudian Nip is a comedy collective from Sydney, and a champion high school cheerleading squad. After discovering its previous captain stole all their best routines from an inner-city school, they must scramble to compete at this year’s championships. May the best moves win.

HEADSWAPSIES
Genre Slapstick
Producers Bec Schultz
Writers/Directors Mitch McTaggart, Djovan Caro
Synopsis Two stupid scientists swap heads in a vain attempt to advance medicine, but instead just lose control of their bodies.

IBIS QUEEN
Genre Animation
Producers Melody Ha, Anna Bateman, James Hackett
Directors/Writers Nick Simpson, James Hackett
Synopsis The polar ice caps have melted and the Ibis Queen is a floating cruise ship that offers a world of infinite activities and entertainment. Captain Caveri is the debauched master of misrule on this vessel. She needs to watch her back as diving instructor Numa is trying to recruit the struggling musician Paul to help her sink the Ibis and create an aquatic haven for transgender dugongs.

KOALA MAN
Genre Animation
Producer/Director/Writer Michael Cusack
Synopsis Koala Man is about a local suburban superhero with no special powers but a strong and burning passion to snuff out petty crime and bring order to the community. Patrolling the streets in his 91’ Toyota Corolla, Koala Man is constantly on the lookout for trouble makers.

LEFTOVERS
Genre Comedy
Producer Mark Ruse
Director Andrew Mills
Writers Pippa Mills, Helena Ruse, Andrew Mills
Synopsis Already world-weary in their early twenties, Pippa and Helena are a couple of young people struggling not to constantly embarrass themselves. Based on the experiences of its two stars and creators, Leftovers finds the satirical in the mundane lives of young people.

LET’S BREAK EM UP
Genre Street game show
Producer/Director/Writer Nath Valvo, Tandem Media
Synopsis Nath Valvo will hit the streets of Australia, hunt down unsuspecting couples and put their love to the test. If they pass the game they win nothing, if they lose they have to break up.

MARS 500
Genre Comedy sitcom
Producer/Director/Writer Lewis Hobba
Synopsis Mars 500 follows six astronauts pretending to travel to Mars in a fake space shuttle in Australia’s red centre. Their task is to answer a simple but important scientific question: can six people live in a tiny space shuttle for the time it takes to fly to Mars and back without killing each other? Inspired by real world events, Mars 500 tells the story of a ridiculous yet noble journey to nowhere, and the idiots who signed up for it.

NO-ONE SUSPECTED THE CAT
Genre Animation
Producer Doug Bayne
Director Trudy Cooper
Writers David Collins, Rebecca De Unamuno, Carlo Ritchie
Synopsis Three improvisers enter a sound studio, three animated films come out. What will they even be about? We don’t know. Perhaps we never will.

THE ANGUS PROJECT
Genre Comedy
Producer Craig Anderson, Alessandro Zotti, Nina Oyama
Director/Writer Nina Oyama
Synopsis Angus Thompson is a 20 year old wheelchair bound university student with cerebral palsy who lives by himself in Bathurst NSW. Cerebral Palsy is a disease which affects motor skills, but not the brain, so Angus employs other students as disability carers to help him eat, study and clean…but most importantly, to help him party. This webseries is about Angus and his carers, and the hedonistic shenanigans they get up to.

THE BIG DAY
Genre Comedy
Producers Laura Hughes. Carolina Sorensen
Director Bryan Moses
Writers Laura Hughes, Bryan Moses
Synopsis The Big Day is a series of 3 connected sketches that celebrate the ridiculous people who manage to make someone else’s wedding all about themselves. Laura Hughes will be bringing to life all three hilarious characters; the suffocatingly considerate bridesmaid, an aggressively enthusiastic groomsman, and the self-proclaimed ‘fun mum’ of the bride. The series will also star Shari Sebbens and Christiaan Van Vuuren.

THE LOST TAPES
Genre Fake archival footage
Producers Penny Greenhalgh, Stef Smith, Josh Ladgrove
Director Stef Smith
Writers Penny Greenhalgh, Josh Ladgrove
Synopsis The Lost Tapes is an offbeat, unconventional comedy starring Penny Greenhalgh and Josh Ladgrove. The three sketches will be shot as fake ‘forgotten archival footage’ from various eras and genres; so wonderfully bizarre and funny you might just believe they’re real.

TIGER COPS
Genre Parody retro-cop
Producer Maria Tran
Director/Writer Adrian Castro
Synopsis Two mismatched cops Inspector Tiger (Maria Tran) and Detective Wombat (Steven Oliver) are on a mission to take down a Hong Kong crime lord, The White Ghost.

TOO PRETTY TO BE WITTY
Genre Satirical sketch
Producer Petra Lovrencic
Directors Petra Lovrencic, Fiona Gillman
Writer Fiona Gillman
Synopsis A pop song about a basic bitch, a movie trailer starring Hollywood’s most stereotypical cast, and a dating game show for the career-driven independent woman. In Too Pretty To Be Witty, Fiona Gillman plays three different “types” of women, satirising the generalisations created for them by modern media and society.

TRUE MURDER
Genre Parody true-crime documentary
Producer Erasmo Raimundo
Director Greta Lee Jackson
Writers Cameron James, Becky Lucas
Synopsis Every year hundreds of murders go unsolved – until now. Each episode, True Murder attempts to solve the most bloodcurdling, notorious (and 100% made up) crimes in Australian history. And every time, they fail embarrassingly and miserably.

WALK IN MY SHOES
Genre Mockumentary
Producer Mitchell Stanley
Director Peter Nizic
Writer Johnny Lahoud
Synopsis A decade after being disqualified from the Men’s 50km Race Walking event at the Sydney 2000 Olympics, race walking legend, Herbert Seaman, is making his much anticipated comeback with the help of his wife/coach, Sandy Seaman. Feeling positive after his public mental breakdown due to his emotionally shattering disqualification, Herbert’s training to walk again, striving towards that Olympic gold medal he desperately craves.

WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?
Genre Comedy
Producers/Directors Adam Murfet, Jesse Oldfield
Writers Naomi Higgins, Humyara Mahbub, Mark Samual Bonanno
Synopsis Why Are You Like This? is about two girls, Penny and Mia, who always say the wrong thing. As they inadvertently dissect the dark side of human nature – premises that are often taboo – they swiftly move through social interactions, leaving destruction in their wake, with anyone they come across being forced to pick up the pieces. Why Are You Like This? is a dark, dialogue comedy that is unforgivingly harsh, punchy and sharp.

YEAH NAH
Genre Comedy
Producers Madeline Kelly, Julia Corcoran
Directors Yasmin Suteja, Claudia Allison
Writer Kai Suteja
Synopsis A comedy about two millennial misfits stuck in a perpetual state of irresponsibility.

Is it just us, or should a talent program to unearth a “new generation” of talent only happen once in a generation? Put another way, while developing new talent is always a good idea, does anyone really think Australia in 2017 has 20 TV-ready but otherwise largely unknown sketch comedy teams out there? Especially after the last series of Fresh Blood felt like there was a fair bit of barrel-scraping going on once you looked past the top ten.

In a perfect world the ABC’s comedy talent development scheme wouldn’t be quite so much like a game show where everyone gets one go and if you crash out that’s it, but hey – taking the time to actually work with upcoming comedic talent over a period of years until they can deliver the goods is probably a little too close to hard work. We’re looking forward to Nath Valvo’s show though, he’s usually a pretty funny guy. And trying to guess which of the other shows clearly pocketed as much of the $15,000 grant as possible should be good for a laugh.

Australian Tumbleweeds is Australia's most opinionated blog about comedy.
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