A dog of a Christmas

What could be more Christmas-y than a dysfunctional family, mental illness and a dying dog? That seems to be the thinking behind Nugget is Dead?: A Christmas Story, Stan’s Australian-made Christmas movie for 2024, anyway.

Written by and starring Vic Zerbst and Jenna Owen (The Feed and the upcoming sitcom Optics), this sees Zerbst as Steph, a small-town girl, who after a year of therapy triggered by her overwhelming and difficult family, resolves to spend Christmas with her rich inner city boyfriend Seb (Alec Snow). But when Steph’s mum Jodie (Gia Carides) calls to tell her that the family dog Nugget is unwell and that her dad John (Damien Garvey) is on his way to collect her, Steph has no choice but to go home. And as Steph is reluctantly dragged back into family life, and Nugget undergoes various treatments from vet Dr Lander (Priscilla Doueihy), it becomes increasingly clear that what Steph thought was right for her isn’t.

With an ensemble cast of all-Aussie characters – Tara Morice as Seb’s snobby mum, Jenna Owen as Steph’s eyelash entrepreneur cousin Shayla, Mandy McElhinney as bubbly but annoying Aunty Ros, Kerry Armstrong as dimwit local dog owner Tammy, Tiriel Mora as Steph’s exasperated therapist Dr Jay – there should be plenty of comedy to be had, here. But there isn’t. And sadly, there are few genuine laugh-out-loud moments in Nugget Is Dead? A Christmas Tale, even with Nan (Diana McLean) roaming around forgetting everyone’s name, and the barbeque being left to Steph’s brother’s friend Leon (Lelong Hu), who clearly has no idea what to do.

Sometimes it feels like the film wants to lean into visual comedy, for example, there are heaps of shots of Leon trying to stop the flames on the barbeque from becoming bigger. Except, even though the flames build up, presumably leading to Leon setting the house on fire…he manages to put them out. So why bother with that bit? Seriously, why bother?

And that’s the basic problem with Nugget Is Dead?: A Christmas Story, all the ingredients are there for a family Christmas comedy where everything goes wrong but they end up having a brilliant Christmas anyway, yet the makers don’t really go for it. Instead, they’re trying to make this into a comedy-drama, featuring scenes where everyone dissects each other’s mental health, using terminology they probably got off Instagram, except not in a funny way.

Nugget Is Dead? feels rushed and unfocused, and not sure what it wants to be. It seems to be trying to appeal to everyone by including elements from classic Christmas films and also poking fun at contemporary Australia, yet it doesn’t work as a cohesive whole and will please no one. Like the centrepiece on the Christmas table, it’s a turkey.