Be part of football history – yes, again! – and join rampaging Roy Slaven and HG Nelson for the annual weekend of all things football, no matter what code you follow.

Nothing else matters when Festival of the Boot is up and running!

“This year’s Festival of the Boot is for all Australians but especially women of calibre, shark shooters, Taylor Swift Freaks, Ashley Madison swingers, humanitarian coal miners, shoe collectors, first home buyers, zombies and vampires, wedding celebrants, job ready tyre-fitters looking for flats, cosmetic surgeons, day spa operators, Tinder types, Qantas crews, Bronwyn Bishop Chopper Pilots and south coast beauty students,” HG Nelson said.

Rampaging Roy Slaven also observed, “I am thrilled that the new Skipper, Malcolm Turnbull, has realised that there is no more exciting time to be an Australian in the history of the world than in 2015. When you settle down in the comfy chair with a large one handy on that one weekend in October and give the Boot a good hard look, you will know exactly what he is talking about.”

H.G. Nelson said, “This year’s Boot is all about “jobs and growth”. It’s a message all real Australians can get right up behind.”

‘It’s simply un-Australian to swerve past the Festival of the Boot. It makes us what we are – the greatest football nation on earth,” Roy Slaven said.

“The Boot in 2015 celebrates the work of coaches everywhere. These unsung heroes of sport are real Australians doing the heavy lifting week in week out in the toughest competitions in the world.”

The Boot Part One  –  the AFL Grand Final live from 2pm AEST, Saturday, October 3

The Boot Part Two  –  the NRL Grand Final live from 6.30pm AEST, Sunday October 4

Festival of the Boot is live and exclusive to ABC NewsRadio – on air, online, on digital radio and the ABC Radio app.

The days when we cared all that much about Roy & H.G. are about as distant in the past as the bombastic style of sport commentary they’re making fun of – well, we’re assuming sports commentary has moved on, it’s not like we actually give a shit about sport in any way shape or form – but it’s still good to have them back covering the various Grand Finals.

The big problem with sports comedy over the last few years is that it’s all been coming from the sports side of things, and having a bunch of ex-players talk shit loses its lustre after the first thousand hours or so. So while Roy & H.G.’s glory days are a decade or so in the rear view mirror, at least they’re able to make fun of sport in a way that’s (occasionally) funny to people who know next to nothing about the sport.

The fact they’re on ABC NewsRadio suggests this approach isn’t quite the draw it used to be when the duo were Triple J fixtures with regular gigs on commercial television. Fingers crossed it’s just their star that’s faded, and not the idea of poking fun at sport. As Australia’s biggest scared cow, sport should be in the sights of a lot more comedians a lot more often.

Just as long as it’s not Hughsie. Or Straunchie. Or Mick(ie) Molloy.